Three Noobs of RuneScape
by Zyraven
Summary: What will happen when three people discover the world they live in is a game and they have to deal with the 1337 talk and other propaganda? Ruin it, of course! Read and Review! COMPLETE
1. The Prolouge

This is the story of three noobs of RuneScape, Sykasa, Zyron, and Jikia. Their tale begins at Lumbridge, right after they have all finished Tutorial Island…

Zyron opened his eyes. He had just finished the island. Great! A new world to explore. He thought of what the first thing he would hear was. He listened closely, and heard the first voice of someone…

"Omg lol!1! Look at the n00b!"

A level 13 person in a bronze chain mail came up. "Follow me so I can pwn u in the wildy."

Zyron was confused. "What?"

"Lolz!1 U dunno wat the wildy is?"

Zyron shook his head. "I just started."

"U mean u dunt have a main? lol u really r a n00b."

Zyron flipped him off.

"Whoa dude how does u do that? That not in teh emocitions!1"

"The what?" The guy was acting like this is a game.

"In ur bottom left corner of teh screen."

"Screen? I can only see you."

"O, u mean ure an npc? How r u talking?"

"Npc?"

"Lol nerd stop pretending u live in the game!1"

Zyron was confused...he and his brothers Sykasa and Jikia and grew up on that island. When they came of age they went through those trials and the kind wizard sent them here.

"Game?"

"lol noob kk watever im loggin off."

The man dissapeared.

"How did he dissapear?" Then he saw Sykasa come up.

"Hey, Zyron. We did it. But these people are...strange."

Suddenly, Jikia ran up from behind.

"Yeah. They keep saying this is a game."

"I know. And I keep hearing strange things like 'noob', and 'selling nats', and stuff like that."

They left the square of the castle and found a man.

"Hi, how are you?" Jikia asked.

"Leave me alone!" The man yelled.

"Let me try," Sykasa said as he walked up, "How are you?"

"Leave me alone!" It said in the exact same tone and speed.

Zyron looked at it. "I think that's a npc."

"A what?"

"I dunno."

Suddenly, a man came up and killed him, and as the man fell dead, the person yelled, "pwned!"

However, no one cared, and the man simply dissapeared and a few coins appeared, which the man took.

The three looked in shock. How come no one cared? However, soon, it reapeared.

Uneasily, Sykasa approached it. "Hi, how are you?"

"Leave me alone!" It said.

Later, they kept exploring the new world, ignoring the occaisional 'noob', 'free stuf', and 'follow me north ill give u stuff'. However, soon, they decided to check out this 'wildy', in which an ACTUALLY normal person corrected that as a short term for the 'wilderness'. Then the man gave them some gold. It was a nice man. What was his name...? Zezima, Sykasa remembered.

They also learned a few things that the 'players' deemed true; if they looked above the person they could see what they were saying at the same time. However they preferred not to because the spelling was scarier than the words, and whenever someone sweared it would go in a loud, godlike voice, "BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" and etc. So, anyways, after I had just wasted valuble space on this chapter, they reached the Wilderness.

Suddenly, an annoying board appeared with a warning sign. They ignored it and continued. To their left, a skull appeared with a number.

"According to what that man said, the number is the difference in which we can be attacked. So far we are all level 7," Sykasa noted.

About level 20, a level 23 man attacked. So, players could attack them here. "Ill pwn u!"

They thought. They lived inside the game, if they died here, they would be finished...forever. As the man's steel long sword started to hit Jikia, they thought it was the end. How would they be able to escape fast enough? Right when they thought it was the end, a level 42 character came and attacked the level 23, and the level 23 fell down pwned. Then, as most players were spiteful, he yelled, "Noobs. You're lucky. I'm Swordpker11. We'll meet again." He teleported.

Zyron thought for a moment. "At least he talked normal." A little more silence. Jikia replied, "Pker? That's a new one..." More silence. "Let's leave. Now." Sykasa broke the silence and they broke out into a run back towards Varrock, which was their favirote city.


	2. The Plot

Chapter 2: The Plot Thickens, Uh, Begins.

Sykasa, Zyron, and Vero made it out of the wilderness. It sucked. They decided to train. They headed to Falador and wet to the goblins. Zyron took out his iron longsword and ran towards one. Before he stabbed it, it screamed something about green armour. They then purposly ticked people off by jumping, waving arms, wielding two swords, and other player-impossible stuff. The only reply they got was, "How u do that? Member?" That was the second time they heard 'Member'.

The cool dude named Zezima said he was a member. By switching worlds, they could do more than 4 times as much things. But they didn't know how to change worlds, so they said 'Sure' to the 1337 Tlker, as they dubbed them, and continued to show off with their Non-Player abilities.

But then, surprisingly, the lazy author decided to make a plot.

One day, well, in hours, because time never changes in RuneScape, they went into Falador to figure out what to do next. They had become level 10, but their EXP wouldn't go up. Why? Maybe because they were real, and in real life, you don't see army people walking around with numbers over their heads.

Even though that means they could die easier, they could also win faster. They could attack anywhere they want, run faster than others, jump, have twin weapons, steal and not worry about NPCs fighting back because they wernt members, and, best of all, use whatever they want because it's not like if your two you can wear something that has 'Rune' on it better than you can if you've fought for awhile.

So, with the Rune Armour they've stolen, they showed off even more by being level 10s walking around with Rune armour, twin rune long swords, and they even cut their own designs in the armour. It was P-I-M-P.

So, one day, they thought, they could use Rune Long swords and have a realistic amount of attack power. They could kill people by stabbing them in the head. The system wouldn't allow that so the person would glitch and die. They could push the people in lava. They could do anything they want. RuneScape, world 72, was theirs. So they decided to make it funner (though it is not a word) for themselves.

They decided to become PKers.

OOC: Sorry there was no diolouge or comedy. It's meant to explain the point.


	3. PKing and some Disgusting Fun

Chapter 3: PKing

They stole some Rune Full, got Rune Scimitars and a Rune Kite, in case someone got away Jikia brought a Maple Longbow (non-members) with Rune Arrows and Zyron brought for the same reason magic.

The found a level 110. High levels were still difficult to defeat, but not as difficult. Unfortunatly, in this veteran's long time of playing, he had not realized Dragon Scimitars do not work in non-member worlds, and worse, he still talked 1337 talk...

''Lmao, l00k at teh n00bz!111one11 your lucky i cant attack u!"

As you know, there is no place where a level 110 can attack a level 10 player, and his face was that of suprise (as much as a game with very little player graphics can) and yried fighting back. He had full Rune, however, and it was hard to kill it.

The good news is that this guy had a skull over his head. Their swords clashed in vain on the legendary (to a non-member) armor, until, duh! Zyron let up a bind on the man while Jikia quickly took off the helmet. Sykasa took the hilt of his blade and smacked the head with it, making it fly off into a tunnel. In this way they learned they were stronger and weaker both than they thought, but they had created the game of golf in RuneScape!

They gathered the good stuff; his rune armor and some lobsters. And look at that...Jikia had managed to grab the Dragon Scimitar before it dissapeared...

Sykasa now had a Dragon Scimitar, and they left for Varrock. They then got a better, more evil idea...

Sykasa went to Varrock's south entrance, while Jikia went to the west and Zyron to the east. They undressed, and ran nude like monkeys throuhout the city. People went 'H0w u d0 that' and other stuff, while the three idiots ignored them and flipped everyone off. Then the players in vain tried to report him, but unfortunatly there was no button for 'Running Nude Through a Highly Populated Place'.

But it is when they were chased out of Varrock to Falador, and slept (nude) on the middle of the square, when Sykasa noticed something...

They needed clothes.

And something else...

What did that button say? Sykasa has leaned his head far enough back to see the menu, he only thing like a game that followed them...

'Log Out'?

He yelled to the others to do what he was doing, and they saw it. They pressed it...

They didn't want to log off this beloved game, they had a better idea...

They went to a member server, world 77.


	4. Members World and Richard Simmon

RuneScape, Chapter 4-Memberness

They appeared in the same place, same time, though time never changed. There were members everywere, all cool looking. Even .0002 more people here spoke more normally then the 1337 talkers. This felt like home. The first thing they did was pass the gate near Falador...no matter how much they tried, there was an invisible wall there so their powers did not help with crossing it.

The went upon a place with many RPGs. Wizards. Old wizards.

After killing some wizards, they went up the mountain. There were wolfs. They slew them too with only minor wounds, and after traveling they came upon the king wolf. Large, albino, and ugly, it was a sight to behold.

It let out a growl and walked because thats the only thing the game allows them to to towards the three heroes. Well, not really heroes, are they? More like wannabes, or people who lost their prozac. No, really, even Richard Simmons was more heroic than them. But luckily for them, they didn't know who Richard Simmons was. Luckily for Richard Simmons, too. Our three losers killed unicorns. Richard Simmons would have a heart attack from that.

Anyways, I guess it didn't growl either. So it just turned without turning and ran without running towards the heroes that wernt heroes and attacked, though it seemed more like telling a dog to shake. They quickly dodged with there inhum-...well, in this case, human...powers and stabbed it. Syaksa stabbed it's right side, Zyron the left, and Jikia the butt. It quickly did not let out a growl, 'fell' and dissapeared.

They reached a port town. There was much people here. That meant 130000 more 1337 talk, and that is a fact. Even though that's not possible, that is a FACT. They left and went northwest. They came upon Camelot. They ignored Camelot because all there was were annoying noob mages teleporting desperatly trying to raise their magic level. As they continued walking to a place with even more noobs selling 'Flax', they saw someone familiar.

"Hey, Swordpker11!" Sykasa yelled. The man turned around. "Hey. I remember you." The guy clicked the nod animation on his screen. "Want a rematch?" Jikia asked. Sword shook his head. "No, dudes. You guys are feared by everyone. Especially after that nudist stunt. And I dunno ho" His words were cut off.

After awhile, he typed in the rest. "How you kill people outside the wilderness and wear rune at level 10, but it's freaky. The moderators are talking about it too. Th-"

A few seconds later..."They can't even find your names in the player list to ban. It's like you guys are" He was cut off. Jikia finished. "Real?" He asked, though it was not a question, in a mocking style and mooned all the players. They all ran, fearing they would be killed by these monsters. And how stupid they were...

"Yeah. No, really, though. What hacking tools are you using? I hav-" Zyron shook his head. "STUPID GAME..." He said as above him it turned into lowercase letters. "I haven't ever seen anything like this." Sykasa nodded. "I dunno. We came from an island off the coast of Mideel. Tutorial island, as you call it."

"You mean there's more of the world...?"

"Only people like us are there. No 1337 talkers, no noobs. Just people like us."

"Oh, the horror..."

"Actually, no, not like that. Were good guys. We just like messing with the noobs."

"Oh." Sword nodded. "Well, you may not want to stay here long. Zezima is coming." Sykasa's eyes widened. "What did you say?" Sword nodded. "Zezima is coming to world 77. Alliance war, or something. Didn't want it in his world." He could see the suprise-with envy, of course, for them showing emotion-and said again, "Why? Do you know him?"

"He gave us a bunch of stuff and taught us some stuff back at world 7. Why were yo-" ..."Why were you there anyway?" Sword replied, "Same reason. Just I'm sure I have a smaller alliance."

Zyron nodded. "Well, thanks. I need to go back to edgville. We'll meet again?"

Sword nodded. "Sure. Friends? I'll add you to my contact list." They parted and headed back to Edgeville.

"Why are we going to edgeville anyways, zyron?" Jikia asked along the way.

"I dunno. I just wanna kill some unicorns."

Miles away, a man named Richard Simmons screamed in terror.

Then Richard Simmons woke up from his dream of a nightmare.

A butler came up. "Richard? Whatver is the matter?" As Richard, a tall, black man with a flat top got out of bed, who's favirote animal was a bull, by the way, he shook his head and replied. "I don't know. I had a nightmare. I was a short, white, had an afro, and liked unicorns. And then I dreamed some kids on a video game ran nude, killed people, mooned people, and killed a unicorn. And I woke up." The butler sighed. "Oh, Richard, I told you not to eat before you go to bed."

Richard Simmons smiled. "OK. Sorry." he went back to bed.

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Like it? Long while before and update. Hey, everyone, thanks for the comments. I'll give the requested character a cameo appearance in a chapter or two. Like it? And yes, that last part was an attempt to be funny. Hope you liked it. Yes, in real life, Richard Simmons the is the short white guy with an afro. Any suggestions are welcome, and I'll try to update more often!


	5. Castle Wars's Hooligans

Chappie 5-Non Gnarlyness

After Zyron used his human powers to blast the unicorn like Jimbo ould do in the Volcano episode of South Park, they headed back to the Flax Place, as they dubbed it. However, they saw some downfalls now. Since they were able to steal before because it wasn't possible, it was now possible here and they couldn't steal anything that could be stolen. They could steal dragon, however, since you can't steal it.

OOC: Did that make any sense?

They sold the rune armor for lots of gold and headed south. They came upon a thing which may become one of the main parts of the story. Castle Wars.

They entered, and it was crowded. Since they were real they couldn't walk through people. Someone said, "Hay look itz a n00b", before he saw the Dragon Armor, and then Jikia retorted back, "Hey look it's a level 66 with rune armor!" Then the level 101 dude started crying in real life, sued his hacking system for not allowing him to wear dragon, then both him and the hacking company went to jail for using hacking tools.

They had entered the green and had been put on the Zamorak team, which fitted there evil, in a mentally retarded way, minds. It started. They learned that they could use more than four (I believe) of the barriers because, well, think of what would happen in real life.

However, instead of using it strategically, they put it everywhere. It was now like a maze to get anywhere, only the mages and archers happy, shooting each other while the melee people started crying because they had just wasted 90k on Granite Mauls. Melee-ers were never smart, which proves I'm not because I'm a melee-er on RuneScape. And Melee-er is not a word, if you were wondering. If you thought it was you must be a melee-er.

So, while people were saying 'Noob', 'No, the other team', and 'Stop or I'll slap your mom like the homie I am', the 15 minutes ended, and teh score stayed, 0-0. Each player got 1 ticket for the tie. They now had a bad reputation on the game, and they were happy.

Things kept going like that until Swordpker11 sent them a private message (which they hear in their minds).

"Hey, how much of you were on that island? Because someone that does things similar to you is close by. And he's killing everyone."

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ooooooh, plotness... anyways, if you want me to not use as much Out of character ness then please tell me :) And I don't know how to open PMs so if anyone does please Email me how to at Thank you readers!


	6. Asmodeus

Chapter 6: ...Bogus!

OOC: Am I confusing you on always giving the chapter two different names? And sit back, relax, this is a longer chapter...

Sykasa, Jikia, and Zyron left castle wars. Sykasa kept in contact with Swordpker11 through PMs. "Where is this happening!" Sword quickly replied, "Varrock."

"Dang, if this story wasn't 'T' I'd say some worse stuff I was saying now. But let's go," Jikia said to his brothers, who ignored him, "I wonder who it is."

As they ran towards Varrock, Zyron shook his head. "In a highly populated place like that? Varrock won't last long, why didn't I think of this before? I'll see you guys later. Meet me there." Zyron teleported as Sykasa threw an imp at him and yelled "NO! Teleother! TELEOTHER!" Too late. "Flippin' idiot..."

After escaping two noobs, they reached the 'gates' of Varrock, the western one. Sykasa and Jikia readied their weapons and rank in. There was player stuff from deaths everywhere, and Sykasa had to remind Jikia to wait to this unknown foe was dead. They reached the square.

There there were five people; two people, with the player names Aphelion and Cobalt Raine. They didn't talk 1337 talk, only things even the three brothers started using, like 'lol' and 'rofl' and 'roflmaoqqzx'. They weren't saying anything at the moment, just fighting, but you see. But really, since they HEAR what other people say, say lol. Right now. lol.

The other three were Swordpker11, Zyron, and the man that Sword was obviously talking about. He had a Zamorak Staff (Such thing, right?) in one hand and a Dragon Long Sword in the other. He was standing on the edge of the fountain. The player name read 'Asmodeus'.

He was on the fountain trying to not be surrounded by the three players, for he couldn't walk through them. As you could guess, though, many other players were pouring from Varrock Castle and the city gates trying to kill this man. They were all blasted away by Zamorak's magic, and if they got too close stabbed in the heart by the great Dragon Long Sword. However, once he saw Sykasa and Jikia running towards him, his mood changed from that of happiness of him winning to a frown. As if Zyron wasn't enough.

As they neared, Jikia shot an arrow, barley missing. Sykasa suddenly yelled, "Who are you?"

"Thee are one of them, are you not?" Simply said the man. The man was wearing a long, black cloak, and obviously had dragon chain mail under it, for the swords were not hurting him much. Like the three brothers, he was this strong yet his level had maxed out at 10. He shot another bolt, which Jikia rolled out of the way from, and Asmodeus knew this wasn't a player.

"Yes, thy are. I see it in the way thy walk. I see it in the way thy talk." He turned around and stuck his sword through a player, and dodged a magic bolt as Zyron told him to stop talking in olden talk. Aphelion and Cobalt could only simply cast magic with the man on the fountain, and they were running out of runes and money to buy some. Swordpker11 took out a bow to fire, aimed, but was shot by a bolt from Asmodeus and lost his last hit point. He dissapeared.

Sykasa looked at the spot of his fallen comrade. He knew what he had to do. He yelled to his teammates. "I'm going to go get help! Keep him busy! And try to get him off the fountain.

He ran out before they could say a word through the east gate. Was Zezima in the wilderness? He may be their only hope. And yes, suddenly, from the north out of the east entrance, came an army, led by Zezima. They all had skulls. The war must have been won by them (obviously). "Zezima! Varrock! Varrock Square!" Zezima nodded and issued orders.

Sykasa let out a cry of joy and ran back into the city. "Zezima! Zezima is coming!" He ran through, readying his weapon. "Zezima! Zezima's army! They are coming!" HE looked back to see them heading, running towards the fountain. "Zezima! Zez---!" Just then, a bolt hit him.

He awoke some time later. He was in the upstairs of the Varrock East Bank, and his brothers, Swordpker11, Cobalt Raine, and Aphelion were there. "What...what happened?"

Zyron answered. "As he got distracted by you screaming like a girl, he shot and while he was busy I jumped up there and pushed him off. As he got up, Zezima reached and took the monster's life by an Abyssal Whip." (I think that's the strongest weapon...it was when I played. Maybe it's Dragon 2-Hand now.)

Jikia replied before Sykasa could open his mouth. "If he was truly like us, he won't be back. Zezima logged off before we could thank him. We gave Sword's stuff back, but now we have tons of stuff that we put in those chests behind that gate.

Sykasa nodded and smiled. "OK. I thought I was dead for a second. I need to rest."

The others nodded, and Swordpker was next to talk. "I'll introduce you to Aphelion and Cobalt in the next chapter. OK?" Sykasa nodded. "After that, show me what you guys do at Castle Wars." They all let out an annoying laugh, in which I told them to shut up.

OOC: OooOOOoohh! I surprised you with a quick update! Sorry it's not funny. Hope you liked it.


	7. Saints of Chaos

Zyraven: Alright, this story has mostly been random OOCness of them causing trouble and me saying I'll get to a plot. Though the random OOCness will continue, the plot begins today! I will also describe what armors the people wear and stuff. NOTE: All player levels have gone up since described earlier in the story. Otherwise it's a short chapter,

All Characters: Yay! A short chapter!

''Well,'' said a level 77 player of RuneScape, dressed in full rune, besides a helmet, showing his long, white hair behind, under the player name Swordpker11, "It's the next chapter. I guess I should introduce Aphelion and Cobalt Raine here." He shifted his rune two-hand, and spoke again, pointing to a level 112 man dressed in dragon chain, plate legs, and he was also carrying one of the new Dragon Two-hands. (Yes, I love two handed swords in RuneScape...) ''That is Aphelion. He is the leader of an alliance, which he named Saints of Chaos. Don't ask me, he must of been drunk.'' He then pointed to a lower level, level 63, dressed in the best mage armor to a level 63 available (not a member anymore...please give me a name people) with a Lava Staff in his hand. ''That is Cobalt Raine, strategist of the alliance. No one like him around.''

The man used the nod command, and Sword continued. ''I'm second in command there. We would like to recruit you.'' Sword spoke to three people, more special then them all. They were real people-not limited to player abilities-that came from the island of Mideel, off the coast of the Tutorial Island, known to them as Jorganbogaralliaa, which in Hill Giant Tounge means ''Island of You Learned Me Well''. (Not funny. Not trying to be.) It was called 'Billy' for short.

One, by the name of Sykasa, wore armor much identical to the leader Aphelion, except his hair was straighter and black. He wielded a dragon long sword in one hand and a rune one in the other. The other one, dressed in full black dragonhide, an archer, who had messy blonde hair, was named Jikia. He had a Magic Longbow, the rarest bow he had found so far. The last one was a mage, with spiked brown hair, named Zyron, who had the rarest mage armor and a fire staff. (Someone send me a list of the best weapons and armor for each class to who was the self proclaiemd leader of the three, who were brothers, spoke. ''What would our position be?''

Aphelion stepped up, and laughed. Well, he said 'lol'.

''Lead assassins. You can kill players even when you are not in the wilderness, correct? You would be great to us.''

Zyron shook his head. ''We don't prefer to kill players outside the wilderness, unless they walk up and calls us noob. Then we stab them right through the--''

Jikia interuppted. ''That may be so, brother, but I'm sure only people who do similiar things and enemy would be on this hit list. Am I right?''

Both Aphelion and Sword nodded and said yes.

There was a long silence, before they agreed.

''Who is our first target? Who is he?'' Jikia asked in a hurry, is was the born assassin of the three.

Cobalt spoke. ''_Her_ name is Crystal, co leader of the enemy alliance Knights of Elkelion.''

Shortness...meh. Sorry for stupid names. My minds as short as William Hung's career. I'll continue within the next week.

So, main characters will be

Sykasa, Jikia, Zyron, Swordpker11, Aphelion, Crystal, and Cobalt Raine.

Less Zezima cameos will be used unless requested...he played his main part, killing Asmodeus.


	8. Return of the Morons

Sykasa, Jikia, and Zyron left Varrock and PMed with Swordpker11, Cobalt Raine, and Aphelion.

First, they needed to know were they were going, so Sykasa asked ''Where would she be?''

After awhile of waiting, Cobalt replied. ''Our soldiers last saw her heading to the wilderness from the east of Varrock. Right where you should be...''

''Perfect, it is. That will be all...'' Sykasa and the brothers set their PM stance to 'OFF'.

Jikia laughed hysterically. ''Whoa are we like loner spies or something! Ha ha ha.''

Sykasa crazily said ''Yeah, dude! Ha ha ha!''

They continued to head towards the wilderness.

OOC: I'm sure you know what happens when you set your PM sign as 'Off' and someone looks at their friend list.

''Holy !'' Aphelion was hysterical. ''How did they do that? They signed off...''

Swordpker11 shook his head. ''How? They live here, right...? Of all times...come on, let's look for them.''

''Yeah, maybe a glitch or something happened. To the wilderness?''

Aphelion, Sword, and Cobalt restocked on food and headed up.

The three nu-heroes continued north. Then they headed west until they reached a spot with a lot of PKers. Suddenly, a lot of low-level players started to attack the supposedly weak level 10ers.

Zyron blasted a poor one into a tree, and now we blatantly steal a line from Bob and George. ''Be thankful sprites don't scar.''

Jikia shot an arrow into one's butt, a pastime of his when people weren't looking, and Sykasa played his new favorite sport, which he learned when he beheaded the elite player in the wilderness a few chapters ago. Of course, the holes were the scorching ground areas Zyron had made.

''God, I love how much time the author has on his hands.''

One got out of the wilderness.

''Lmao noobz u can't get me i report u now!''

Jikia shot an arrow into his butt and Sykasa beheaded the noob, making the head fly a whole twenty feet before smacking Zyron, who was picking up dropped stuff, on the head.

After putting the flame on Sykasa out, they headed into the wilderness.

''Do you always have to shot them in the anus?'' asked Sykasa out of boredom. They weren't there yet.

Jikia laughed. ''Why not?''

''Why so? Pervert.''

''How am I a pervert? And where did you learn that word?

''Those noobs that one time. Remember?''

''Oh yeah, at least this isn't like The Sims, you couldn't...''

''Where did you learn about The Sims?''

''Uuhh...''

''...? Where?''

''Hold on, I'm thinking...''

''Jikia...!''

A large, wooden staff hit his face like a pimp to a .

''Shut up,'' said Zyron, ''I see her.''

Sykasa rubbed his head. ''There's more than her...''

They were at the Chaos Shrine, a fallen sanctuary for Zamorak surrounded by lava. In the middle of a group of people surrounding the shrine, stood the target. She had full Rune, besides a helmet, like the rest of the characters, and longish black light blue hair.

The three crept towards her, Sykasa in the lead, dropping 164 pounds on the ground every step, moving no quicker than a sloth, moving in a motion like a retarded gorilla, finn-

''Shut up and get to the story!'' Sykasa yelled at me.

Geez, I was just trying to waste valuable space on this chapter...and I'd look that way if I were you.

''Why...? --Oh, snap.'' Crystal had noticed their yelling (and white dots), slowly picked up two Rune Long swords, and turned.

All three widened their eyes.

''She actually turned...turned...!'' Said Zyron in shot.

''She has two swords...'' Said Sykasa grimly.

''Whoa! She's hot!'' Said Jikia, not surprisingly.

To Be Continued, Unfortunatly...gotta please the few fans. Maybe I should not update for awhile and see what you do...and stuff, mhuahahhahahaha, I'm so evil. Cookies!


	9. Battle and More

Chapter 9: Battle

With the twin blades in her hands, Crystal ran towards the three dudes. Jikia hesitated a second too much, and got slashed in the stomach. It was only the second time he felt true pain, not simple game attacks, the first being by Asmodeus, and he was not used to it. He yelled in pain. "Biotch!"

He quickly loaded an arrow. She too, was suprised they were not normal players, and withdrew, her player allies moving in. They were easily disposed of, and heads, arms, and butts were rolling into the cyber-lava. She again ran forward, dodging an arrow of Jikia's, and thrust towards Sykasa. Her Rune Blade could not pierce the Dragon Chainmail, she hesitated, raised her swords to dodge a blow from Sykasa, and turned to Zyron the mage, who had weaker armor.

As she ran forward, Zyron raised his staff of Zamorak, and shot a bolt. She rolled to the side, and ran back towards the shrine, climbing over the ruins hanging above and near the altar for Zamorak. She stood on top, and readied a small crossbow attached to her back, shooting pearl bolts. Jikia and Sykasa dodged, following her. Jikia readied an arrow, and- "Oh, snap," he said, "I shot them all into the butts of the noobs." Sykasa sighed. "If I wern't so far away, I'd slap you. Here!" He tossed his other sword over Crystal's head, and Jikia caught it.

All three balanced on the ledge, a brutal sword fight iccuring, Crystal dodging and parrying their blows. Though the assassins had better numbers, Crystal was obviously more skilled as she did not spend her time running around naked, shooting people's butts, playing golf with heads, killing innocent unicorns and cracking unfunny jokes.

Then Sykasa and Jikia backed off to the edge, Crystal still in the center of the platform. She sneered. "Give up?" And laughed. Jikia thought to himself what a sexy voice she had, until Sykasa yelled. "Now!" They jumped off the platform and landed on the ground safley, and waved a goodbye to Crystal as Zyron readied another magic blast.

Then something unexpected happened.

Zyron released the bolt at her, but instead of hitting her it hit the platform. There was a blinding, white light and a loud crumbling noise as the platform fell beneath her. She had one second to look below before she fell, crashing into the altar, cracking it into two parts. Dust rose and parted. All was silent. Besides a noob who yelled "Whoa d00d" before getting shot with an arrow Jikia found on the ground.

They walked to the altar. She layed there, breathing deeply. "Who are you guys...?" She coughed, and fell unconcious, but definatly not dead. Sykasa shook his head. "What's going on? She's like that Asmodeus guy."

Ignoring them, Zyron thought.

_We did that before to scenery. It turned into 1's and 0's before reappearing. It didn't crumble like stuff did back at Mideel. What's happening?_


	10. Wrath and Revenge

Chapter 10: The Final Chapter

Yes, I'm sorry, this must come to an end. I've made too many plot twists, and, hell; I don't even know what's happening! This will be a longer chapter, of course, as we can't fit all the mysteries of the story into a few paragraphs...darn! So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the final chapter of The Three Noobs of RuneScape! This MAY be as long as all the other chapters combined...well, I finished it, and it is defiantly ALMOST longer.

Zyron was still shocked at what had happened. He stared at the fallen scenery, wondering.

"...Why?" he asked himself.

Jikia, an angry face on him, nodded. "Yeah, I know! Why did we have to kill her, she was hot!" He scratched his head and looked to the rubble.

Sykasa sighed. Taking back his sword from Jikia, he spoke. "She's not dead. Hurt, but not dead. What's wrong, Zyron?"

Zyron shook his head. He was in a daze. "This is a game."

"Yes?"

"Mideel was real."

"Well, yeah. I hope."

"Things never got destroyed in this fake world. They turned into coding, and then went back how they were."

"...Whoa. You're losing me, but I think I see your point."

"Mideel is in the same land as RuneScape," Zyron said, "Mideel was real, RuneScape was fake. This AND that shouldn't be possible. Is Mideel coded? Is Andrew (The creator for all you dimwit noob-heads) behind this?"

Jikia finnally spoke. "No, the author is!"

Zyron smacked him in the chest with the staff. "Of course he is," he said, annyoed, "but we need a god damn plot! This story has been making too many twists and turns!"

Jikia rubbed his stomach. "Good point, but why did you have to hit me?"

Both Zyron and Sykasa ignored him, and they walked back to Crystal.

She opened her eyes and got up, slowly.

They stared at each other, before they all yelled in unison, "Who the hell are you!"

After some silence, Jikia yelled "Jinx!" like a little kid.

Zyron turned, readied a freeze Ancient Magik, and froze him.

Crystal stared at the frozen figure with a retarded, hysterical look on its face and spoke. "My name is Crystal. I am from an island called Mideel...I left a long time ago, and after dealing with all the noobs, became co-owner of a good clan here the S.O.C."(Yes, a real clan in the game, if anybody could give me info on it, thanks.)

"Interesting. I'm from Mideel too, the town of Vale." Sykasa was trying to be serious now.

"Xzeriya," she answered back. The others nodded. They know where she meant. Well, Jikia didn't nod, but he would have exaggerated it...a lot.

"Well," it was once again Zyron's turn, "we are in a clan too, your rival. We are assassins, not co-leaders, though..."

Crystal nodded. "Andrew must be up to something, trying to get rid of us...and I know how to get out of here."

The two brothers eyes widened with surprise. "How!"

She laughed. "Exactly how you switched worlds..." (See past chapters to make the next part make SOME sense.)

They nodded and unfreezed Jikia. They headed out into the big, bad world.

(For those who don't know, they were able to see some of the game things, and were able to log out.)

(Sacramento, California)

You should of seen the look on the faces of the RuneScape server staff when four well armed and dressed in medieval clothes came out of the computer screen.

After escaping the carnage, they went into the streets of the city. They learned from a RuneScape player that the owner of the game lived in Europe, and how to get there, by a plane.

They stole some money from some random emo kid and bought tickets (They hid the weapons in the bag, and when they claimed they were going to a medieval convention in Britain, the plane staff, named Orlando Bloom, allowed them to put it in baggage) and headed to Britain.

"ANDREW!"

The four people burst in, weapons in hand. They found Andrew in the basement of his parent's house. It was obvious he was there.

"Leave us," said Andrew, who was the only one there, "we must update! Update! New update is...is...a monster that is stronger than the Chaos Elemental and the Kalphite Queen combined! I shall call it Billy! BILLY!" He began to laugh hysterically, and chucked a beer in one go.

They looked at him, sort of weird (well, not sort of) and Sykasa leaned over to the others. "Kind of weird, eh?"

Suddenly, Andrew stopped. He looked at them, eyes bloodshot.

"You are the ones we created, aren't you! Our secret weapon against the hackers! The hackers, naught, naughty!" He laughed again, and drank 'cottage cheese' from a milk carton.

"We...we're what!" Zyron backed up, eyes wide, his hand tightly gripping his staff. Unintentionally, a ball of fire began to form in the orb of the staff.

"Yes, yes, my precious," he said, scratching his armpits like a monkey, drool coming from his mouth, "We created Mideel! We vowed to make the greatest game, and we began! Years, it took, but Zaros, he helped us, Zaros, the almighty powerful!"

It was Sykasa's turn to be surprised, as if the last thing wasn't enough. He had heard Zaros be mentioned as one of the gods, whom Zamorak was afraid of in RuneScape. "Who is Zaros?"

Andrew, now shaking, sucking his thumb, and drunk, he spoke again, much louder than he needed to. "That is the nickname of the man who did this! To us! His real name is..."

He looked around, making sure no one else was there, stared Sykasa right in the eyes, and was silent.

"..."

"Who!" asked Sykasa relentlessly.

"..."

"What is he?" Zyron wanted answers.

"..."

"Is it a chick!" asked Jikia simply.

"He is Chuck Norris." Andrew's eyes calmed, and he took another sip of his 'cottage cheese'.

It was silent.

Until Jikia yelled out of the blue, "God damn it!"

"What," asked Crystal, "who is that?"

"Some old, stupid overated dude who everyone makes jokes about! It is annoying as me!"

"Nothing is as annoying as you." Said one of the other four.

Ignoring that, Jikia spoke again. "So he coded Mideel? Made it real?"

Zyron was absolutely pissed now. The fire wave in the orb grew bigger.

"Yes, yes, my precious, little, hacking destroyer!" Andrew said as he abandoned the 'cottage cheese' and got another beer.

"Why? Why can't we? Why do we have a real conscious instead of a player? Who is Asmodeus?"

The fire wave grew bigger, unknown to everyone in the room.

Andrew answered them all. "We want the game fair, you can't because I lost a bet and almighty Chuck Norris made it so, you are the gods, the gods of RuneScape, and Chucky gave you life, Asmodeus is like you, but teh conscious of Zaros!"

Silence, again. Jikia scratched his head. "Lost me there."

"You are the consciousness of the gods of RuneScape! Sykasa, you are Guthix! Crystal, you are Sarodromin! Zyron, you are Zamorak! Asmodeus is Zaros!"

Jikia stepped forward, bow ready. "And who am I!"

Silence. Absolute silence.

"..."

"Well!"

Andrew took a sip of his beer and spoke. "I dunno. Some god I made up, I was drunk."

"Well," said Sykasa, "he was made by someone under the influence. That explains it."

Jikia was upset, of course. "Not...a time...to make...a joke!"

He readied an arrow and pointed it at Andrew's head, and a beam of light suddenly shone from the ceiling, a holy light that glowed like a thousand suns

"You killed Asmodeus, didn't you! Apocalypse is coming! You killed him! Zaros is here!" Andrew's eyes again went bloodshot, and he drank from his 'cottage cheese' and beer, alternately.

A figure came from the beam.

It was Chuck Norris (Zaros). However, it wasn't the Chuck Norris you know. He was old, and gained some weight. He walked with a walking stick.

"Revenge..." he said, "Revenge! Asmodeus!"

He started to beat Andrew with his walking stick.

They all laughed, looking at the nerdy fool getting what he deserved, until Chuck Norris turned to them.

"I shall destroy you now!"

He tried a roundhouse kick, but he was too old, and his leg broke, and he fell on his face.

And Zyron laughed, but also mad at what he had learned.

The fire wave of Zyron's reached its limit. The orb exploded, the room filled with a blinding light.

The wave of fire flew around, uncontrolled by them all, finally finding a target, the creator of calamity, despair, and what came to be stupid humor, Chuck Norris!

The dust parted. They coughed, and rubbed their eyes. Chuck was gone, destroyed, a blazing fire where he used to be.

"It's over?" They asked.

Andrew cleaned his glasses and hacked. "Yeah, dudes. It's over."

Sykasa bent down near the fire. Nothing was left. "Now," he asked eventually, "why did the scenery crumble?"

Andrew shook his head. He tried to take a sip from his 'cottage cheese', but it was gone. "Oh no," he said, "my polyjuice potion!"

"Answer."

"Oh, right. Well, since I lost a bet, Chuck Norris took away your hack destroying powers. You became human, and that sucked, I'm pretty sure."

Crystal nodded and said to herself, "Yeah, it did..."

"Since you were causing chaos, I knew what I must do. Find the old Mideel coding, and give it to were you were, hopefully you being defeated by Sarodromin and burning in the lava!" He laughed. "POLYJUICE POTION!" He said again.

"That's done, then, now remove it," Sykasa demanded, twin swords pointed at Andrew's neck. Andrew did, fixed to the regular coding, and waved. "Get into the computer. You may go back to RuneScape, Guthix."

Zyron jumped in quickly, and Sykasa was halfway in when something hit Jikia. "Wait," he yelled, "if I'm their brother, and they are Zamorack and Guthix, Sarodromin was their brother, and in this case, sister, which means Crystal is my sister!"

Andrew said something about polyjuice potion and said, "Yes, if you put it that way."

"Nooo! I finally find a hot chick, and she turns out to be my sister!"

Crystal pushed him in. "Dude, I don't even think anyone would date you if his or her life depended on it." She entered, and all was normal.

Andrew started to transform. He had no more polyjuice potion. He turned into his real body, Tom Cruise, and ran away.

The S.O.C and the Saints of Chaos (Whoa, same initials) became allies after that, and Crystal grew used to the three idiots that in a strange turn of events (that I wasn't even planning!) were her brothers. They lived as the gods, though no one believed them, and were all called noobs, but they knew, and they smiled.

You could tell who called them noobs by checking to see if they had arrows in their butt.

The End

Author's Note: Or is it?


End file.
